by Dan Gagne
I travelled to many places,
some good, some bad.
I found a place, a culture,
an answer to life’s challenges.
I was grateful for the promises,
the secure marriage, healthy kids,
peace, love and joy.
Confident about our new home,
I gave my heart, my service, my time.
A growing knowledge, seemingly good,
a self-righteousness, a blindness.
As the challenges approached,
to be denied, soon to be conquered.
The culture’s promises, I believed.
The culture’s promises, were a lie.
The answers sought, not to be found,
The problems growing,
Denial, confusion, disbelief.
Sunday school to substance abuse,
worship team to suicide addiction,
ministry service to mental illness,
shattered dreams, depression, disillusionment.
Who are you God? What are you?
Is this all the truth about you?
I don’t know you, I don’t like you.
I want the truth, with or without you.
Are you one or three?
Is it heaven or is it hell?
Is it for some or is it for all?
Are you love or are you not?
My journey starts anew,
a pursuit for truth.
Stripping it all away,
the knowledge, seemingly good.
It’s just you and me,
not the bible, not the three,
not heaven for some, not hell.
It’s just you and me.
Do I wait for you?
To know that I know that I know?
A supernatural experience?
Or do I simply choose?
What is faith? Is it a gift?
A gift newly received or a gift all along?
I found this gift deep within me,
and it was there all along.
God of love, has always loved me,
God of love, will always love me.
I cannot undo his love,
Never have, never will.
